Entry 20: February 20, 2019

The Seeds We Sow

A couple of days ago I posted a bunch of tangential ramblings, posing as cohesive thought, under the subtitle Croning.  Basically I was admitting that I am stuck in a transitional phase of my life, with more question than answers. As often happens to me, when I start focusing on the questions, answers have a way of manifesting themselves.

Questions:  I have allowed my inner sense of purpose to guide most of my life. Was that the right choice? Did I/do I make a difference? As I move into the next phase of my life, can I lay down the fight? Is there another purpose I can serve?

The dawning of answers:

The great part of making a spectacle of myself for Black History Month is that people I have not crossed paths with in forever are finding me. You may recall my saying that I chose to participate in the Black History Calendar in great part due to the youth I have worked with over the years.

Today, I had a meeting with two, now grown, women, who were in the very first group of youth that I mentored. They found me through the calendar, and as they work in the helping professions, and I have a project of interest to them, we killed two birds with one stone –renewing acquaintances and shop talk.

I have never been one to take credit for the accomplishments of the youth I have had the blessing of working with. While I may give them tools and teach them best practices, it is their hard work and focus that gets them to where they go.

The two women I met today gave me both a huge shot of validation and a sigh of relief about the future. They are sharp, have a critical eye, share insightful reflections, and manage to stay compassionate in a field that can turn a sista bitter.

To know that I had a hand in helping them, and hundreds of other youth in the 25 years that followed, to see their potential is exactly the dharma I had hoped for. My time with these youth may have been but a pebble to their pond, but oh my, what the ripples churned up. While I do not wish life to be a fight, I am awed by the warriors that now stand on my shoulders.

While I still have to figure out where I want to aim my pebbles next, today’s meeting affirmed that I have done pretty good so far and can trust my faith in purpose to lead me forth.